Author Archives: vizman

The truth is out there…

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…and on here, welcome to OSS…and what the fuck are you all about?

Obviously you’ve RTFR and are about to post your project in the relevant section, you’ve proofread it, (extra points for those for whom English isn’t their primary language, oh and wraith) pictures are all correctly oriented…and all that jazzz….and up it goes.

Sometimes it’s soggy cabbages, rotten tomatoes, a false leg, burnt out plugs, oily rags….etc etc and sometimes it’s not, but I liked this guys project intro, I save my cabbages for this kinda thing, a goal, a vintage caferacer with manly* parts of the 70s.

*mainly

It’s an aircooled gs750 (awesome) a fine looking thing, and without venturing far from the overall original silhouette it’s still easy on the eye, subtlety modified with period style. No ridiculous angry stance, unnecessary extras or affiliations. It’s definitely not trying to be anything other than what it is, a really kool airkooled gs750..it’s got an attitude, a good attitude, and I’m guessing by the way he can volley a soggy cabbage, so has Hariii.

He obviously cares about what he does with his time as it shows from your build to your posts… (check out the quality of his images)…a certain way in a certain style, and plenty of effort. A forgotten  queen rescued by a king of hearts, the only king without a moustache so you can see he speaks the truth, love, a fine reflection with a brown seat…..an orange tank….standard running gear….cabbages….rotten tomatoes…. yeah I’d happily own it, and ride it, it looks like it does exactly what it says on the tin.

Congratulations Hariii, not only on BOTM, but for your fine attitude and confidence to speak the truth, go, go and race from cafe to cafe on the Traveler.

Thanks for the inspiration, viz.

Discuss here

Buildthread here

Bike of the Month January 2018

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Unicorns and cannon balls and Aquagenic urticaria

Here at OSS.info we have our ‘sections’, and of all these the newest kid on the ol’skool block incorporates the water girls and water boys. Their choice of OSS machinery would, to the untrained eye, appear to be frowned upon and the butt of our communities ‘real ol’skoolers’ jokes, almost as if they’re are just about tolerated.

Madb didn’t let this ‘strange arrangement’ phase him, and got on with sharing the pursuit of his own wet dream in the mother of all sections.. ..’projects’.. We all love this section and the numbers prove this, so jumping in at the deep end like one of Pumhart von Steyr’s wet farts would come as a brave move to the unskooled-ol’skool, could there be a more obvious username? too far? too soon?

Here at OSS.info we have no need for toleration, these four concepts and their paradoxes are taken care of by RTFR and the sites definition of ‘what is’.  Armed with this OSS.info and an ethos that I’m sure many of the ‘project pool party’ be them oiled up or blow dried could identity with, has set about making positive evolutionary progress rather than chasing the elusive ‘wheelie wire’.

To say OSS.info tolerates anything on the site would be an insult to both parties, the site’s boundaries are set for all to see just RTFR, and In these boundaries in my own OSS.info virtual dream garage I’m in the centre (OBVS) and every members bike(s) on this site are top-trump cards fanning out, inadvertently jostling for a close orbit but for unknown reason (to me) the water boilers have to work a little bit harder to grab my attention, this bike’s gone from a weak blip on my paris dome to an active target with zero bearing rate.

congratulations Madb, your life and times gsxr is BOTM. The drinks are on you…….. Julie Andrews for me, and that’s almost as close to hobnob humour harbour as I’m comfortable with, so let’s drop a ‘boat anchor’ here before sun down….full moon….half moon…..total eclipse…..that’s it…. my bourbon biscuit built boundaries be breached.

Read Madb’s build thread here. Members discuss this here

Bike of the Month October 2017

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The king of Babylon, his fingers and the number of the beast…..

….and oxygen, and allotropes of carbon, and Leary’s model, cervical nerves, a byte, a fully lit seven-segment display, an ‘mericun cup, the Dharmacakra..and…urm i’ll stop with how i started before i start listing all that is weird up the Corinthian caulicole of religious curiosities, that’s right this episodes B.OT.M. is brought to you by the number 8.

Although no longer an ‘8 valver’ doubling them up obviously (and mathematically) takes nothing away from this black suited 80’s doorman of a bike, man it’s got some presence, it looks purposeful yet somehow simple……..urm again i’ll stop before them two billett 6 ‘duckle knusters’ crack me in the yokes. don’t stare too long is all i’m saying. It’s an awesome clean looking ol’skool eighty’s air cooled muscle bike, uncluttered and understated with a stance all of its own, like one of Hyatt’s numero’ VIII balls rolling across the cloth into the pack, whether you’re watching in full colour high def or on your nan’s black and white, you know which one it is, which one is king, the eighth king, the king of Babylon, ol’ jake himself.

I gaze upon this bike as i imagine a rabbi gazes upon a jewish males 8th day, thinking ‘almost perfect, now we’ll just trim a little bit off the end’.

Congratulations on BOTM R1guy, an awesome build.

Read the project thread here.

Discuss this article here.

The number 8, a slightly defective number, a tweak away from perfection, come on, if i’d said octopus you’d have got it straight away…wouldn’t you?…..jeez…..am i the only one doing an eight-ball on an (ol’)skool night?

Bike of the month May 2017

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General Scarabaeinae, the shit roller.

Some lunatics out there believe that everything has a designer, everything? Come on! Even the dung beetle? Think about all the key aspects of said species, it’s anatomy, its environment and the fact that its life consists of rolling turds that can be 250 times its own weight with its back legs using the milky way for navigation and they’re not even its own turds…

Come on people…

Rat bikes cannot be designed, they too evolve. You can tell when someone’s ‘designed’ one they are usually covered in cable tied plastic rats, poundshop Halloween skulls and spent cartridge belts…oh and some form of anarchy branding. If you’re sporting de commissioned mack tens and FTW pike nuts but are taxed n’ tested you’re Greenday not Agnostic Front.

A good rat bike has time served and stories to tell in its accumulation of bodges executed so well they became fixtures. It has battle scars’ not false patina. A sense of “that’ll do for now” and with time being a very abstract idea, “for now” could be forever.

We tend to covet the bling from Yoshi, Harris, Dymag and other well designed objects, however at the last OSS gathering, it was awesome to see the public’s attention grabbed by the on going evolution of General Sh*tter. Congratulations Jaffa you are BOTM. (just loose the ebay stickers)

Read about the build here. Members discuss this here.

Bike of the Month April 2017

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Don’t pick it, it’ll never heal.

The wound is generally more impressive than the scar it could potentially leave, this trick framed oil boiler looks more than tough enough to take what would appear to be a backhanded ‘pimp slap’ compliment on it’s chin.

In this age of teenagers sporting ‘homeward bound’ neck art (they’ve probably never done a paper round let alone a stint on the ogin) this is a mighty blue illegible tattoo, it’s a miners hob nail to the (now) trendy white soled ‘brahhn’ red wing bootie…the battered original Simpson to the plastic predator. I got that beat-the bull shark to the appendix etc. etc.

Anything but evolution of necessity would (in my mind) ruin this bike, but I think this dude knows his onions (pardon, Monsieur) and wont succumb to such nonsense as to dress his Gaulian gash in fancy paint, polished alloy or a brahhhn seat.

Congratulations yann711r vous êtes vélo du mois!

Read about Yann’s build here

Discuss this article here.

Bike of the month March 2017

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BOTM march 2017

The faculty of judgement.

Come on, tell me you don’t like that front end combination of chunky loominum hooped spokes, 6 pot Pretechs gripping early Suzuki discs iced (white) with a perfectly proportioned mudguard, and a period ‘cherry on top’ fork brace? Well I do.

I like the big negative space (once obscured by the side panels) that now accentuates that positive 8 valve flatty draining 1085 cubic centimetre’s of OSS.

I like the slightly stubbed rear opposing that monstrous ‘Mr Whippy’, the balance of yellow and the gradient of the white flash. I even like the rear reflectors!

Some parts I dismissed because I hadn’t taken into account the brief, an AMA inspired gs1000. so with that in mind I made a call and a sensible conclusion. Congratulations RUSSP your GS1000 special is BOTM.

P.S  That rear sprocket will never win me over.

Read the build thread here

Bike of the month February 2017

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BOTM FEB2017

Death is only the beginning…..

Really?  For the most part, death is the end. It’s back to the tabular arrangement in order of atomic numbers for you, unless of course, you’re one of them ‘arty’ types, in which case you might believe or wish-think there is a after life.

Anyway, here at OSS we love giving old skool muscle another round in the ring, all be it , after some ‘Frankinstien’ intervention. It’s a  second stab at it, so to speak. Some do it by constantly evolving, others by digging up the forgotten.

I’m ‘arty’ enough to be agnostic about life after death for us, but if there is an after life,  when I’ve finally punched my ticket and I’m left for dead, please stick me on craigslist for $400, hopefully busa1300 will have a punt and bring me back.

Congratulations Busa1300 your GS1000 resurrection is Bike of the Month.

Read about the second coming here

Bike of the month January 2017

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botm-january-2017A stylish beast of burden.

Style, we all want it….don’t we? but at what cost?

The thing about developing your own style is it takes time and effort…and a total disregard for excuses. An idea that you feed with whatever it needs and 99% of the feedback is negative…or a positive negative. The time and effort spent on the various ways of how not to do it is far from wasted.

More failures than success, but once you hit that sweet spot you make it look so effortless and flowing….but then comes the crux as the audience offers praise and, undoubtedly critique, your mindset has changed….more, more, more.

I have no idea how many times Blower1 failed to succeed in his style, but style he has. Congratulations on bike of the month.

It’s not important what you think but how you think, the mind is a beast….feed it in anyway you can.

Viz

Follow the build here

Discuss here

Bike of the month December 2016

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bike-of-the-month-december-2016Less is more, more or less…

There can’t be too many occasions when its perfectly acceptable to replace the mighty heart of an EFE with something….erm…well, a bit less EFE-ish

The EFE is a legend in OSS  folklore and a brute in stature, from the humongously sized (and priced) headlamp, its no nonsense alpha bodywork  and its squared off arse. You don’t mistake an EFE for anything else or indeed anything less…

or do you?…say without its monstrous 16valve atlas stone?

5840abb7906fb_duckmotor-jpg-fcc6d722602ed8fcdc929e9237444e67

An idiom wriggling inside a can that’s rattling inside Pandora’s box, a Russian doll painted as a biker…. we could , or more accurately, those follically endowed, could split hairs and possibly a pint over such a premise… I guess it’d be prevalent to ask someone so old-kool and oldskool they probably had a highway hi-fi phonograph in their race van…

I guess one reason could be when N/A is not enough….I’d  be well happy to have such a beast of a conundrum.

Congratulations Clive AKA Duckndive, you’re bike of the month.

Read Clive’s build thread here

Bike of the month November 2016

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botm-november-2016

Ticking all the boxes…

BOTM first of all must fit within the rules, after that I haven’t picked bikes I’d like to own, just builds that have a certain ‘je ne sais quoi’..be that in the amount of info the member has shared on the site, through to ‘I can’t believe that’s the same pile o’ shyte from the first post’.

A bike that has evolved to Tom’s exacting standards (these can sometimes be winced at but never shunned, Tom has not got all his frequent flyer saddle miles on luck alone) and as I type this he is still awaiting a part to complete the next episode, which I’m sure is not the final chapter.

I’d ask any newcomers to the site wondering what OSS is all about to firstly RTFR, then read Havocs AnerchEZ RatRod thread. Pretty is as pretty does….. congratulations Havoc on BOTM, the evolution will not be televised.

Discuss this article here.